take a breath

“black lives matter”

I watched the video today. The one of George Floyd taking his last breaths. It is heartbreaking. I couldn’t finish. It is devastating. I sobbed. It has changed and altered me in so many ways I’ve been unable to put into words how I feel. And it really doesn’t fucking matter how I feel to be honest. What matters is black lives. Human fucking black people matter. Fuck…My kids grew up with a multitude of friends from various backgrounds, ethnicity, color, sexual orientation…and they love everyone. I did not raise my kids to be anything other than good human beings. And I guess from my little cave here in PV I was hopeful the world would feel the same. Due to my chronic asshole I really have to refrain from protesting supporting whatever you want to call being there or out publicly. So I apologize. But, I am with you. I stand with you. I will do whatever I can to help create change.

I actually had to pause and think about all of my black friends…I have so many. I have black friends that have children. I have friends that are white with black children. I have friends that are black with no children. I have black friends with MS. And my heart hurts for them and what they’ve had to endure their whole lives. Why did I have to even stop to put names to faces that I’ve never looked at as different? Because that is the fucking reality of this crazy fucking world. I am Jewish. Like 99.7% Ashkenazi…I understand some of the crazy.

Can’t we all just get along? Can’t we all just stop and be grateful just to be fucking breathing and standing. I am always grateful to wake up every morning and open my eyes and stand on my own two feet. I still have a chronic illness which has been made incredibly challenging by the pandemic to seek the medical care I’ve needed. But, and it is a big fat but…George Floyd, Ahmaud Abery, Breonna Taylor deserve ALL of our attention. They won’t get the opportunity to seek any care. Fuck. And removing. Ridding. Wiping systemic racism clean from this planet has to happen NOW! I am watching. Listening. Donating. Signing. Sending emails. Whatever I can do. I am.

I am incredibly fortunate. I will wake up every morning. I will stand on my own two feet. For as long as I can and as long as I’m able. Today I stand and I breathe for all the black lives that matter…not just to me…but, to everyone…your beautiful black lives matter.

Listen hard world…everyone is talking.

now please…open the Canadian border:)

peace love namaste

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