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bite me…

on my older brother’s birthday i was assaulted. six weeks later on my younger brother’s birthday i received a proposed settlement from my assailant’s attorney. is there some sort of irony there? i don’t know as i invited them last minute to the party…i really didn’t invite anyone to the party…as i was doing just fine to be honest…but it was time that i took the mother fucker down:) and down he’s going to go…

not in the traditional arrest court trial jail…too bad for you kind of way. i have been scared for weeks. he knows where i live. where i teach. where i practice. where i run…i mean…yes i was/am afraid…of this tiny little weasley looking mouse. i refuse to call him a man. men do not do what he did to me. who in any state of consciousness i would’ve at least tried to fight him off. i wasn’t conscious….he was a coward….and i hope he spent the weekend shitting in his pants because i told him i was going to serve him at his mommy’s…

i do not have time to fuck around. did i not make that clear when I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis almost seven years ago? my time is extra precious. i do not. nor will not waste any of it for anyone. certainly not a cowardly rapist….i thank my new goddess patron for leaving me with just enough memory to keep this mouse from harming others. yet taking the vileness from my consciousness i will be forever grateful. for if i had any more extensive memory i do not believe i would be standing.

when i received the email saying his client wanted to discuss a settlement as soon as possible i wasn’t that surprised…but because i mentioned lawyer he said he could not talk to me about a settlement, he had to talk to my attorney. however, i am not represented by an attorney. i consulted with one in Arizona who is also a friend as he helped me navigate the system a bit. and truth be told he was in opposition of some of the things i did… being a lawyer and all. and i know it came from a place of love and friendship and as he couldn’t technically advise me, he assisted me when my brain stopped functioning…which has been about six weeks now.

i will ask for what i want and need and to be honest this coward should be sent to jail…as i do not believe this is his first time… the statute’s i quoted. all me…no lawyer. hinge actually sent information my way and that’s where i got the mother fucker….

California Penal Code 261 (a) (3) check it out….

considering he’s been a standing member of AA and a sponsor and leader of meetings, there is zero doubt in my mind or his that i could put him away for rape…and no lawyer has helped me here…this is all me…getting my mother fucking power back after weasel dick took it from me.

i was riding high right before this happened….honored in front of Hollywood. my kids and i were in a great place…i was finding my home base in california….meeting new people and reconnecting with friends from my childhood – who i have to say are now some of my biggest fans…supporters…and closest friends and i don’t know how i ever survived without them…and zero chance now i am letting them leave me…

i am handling all this legal crap like a boss…and i am contemplating law school to fight these insane laws that protect the predator and not the prey. this is not okay. i feel like a woman’s greatest fear besides losing their child is getting assaulted. i’ve actually written blogs about being chased and being scared to run…blah blah blah blah…

but it turned out to be someone i knew that attacked me. how fucked up is that? and i trusted him because of our mutual friends…all 36 of them…

no amount of money can erase the daily pain and trauma i live with and will continue to live with for a very long time…and this weasel dick wants me to pay him if i cross his path. ummm. no. can you spell
f u c k o f f…

my life as i’ve known it is no longer the same. i’ve given up “friends” because of the asinine things that have come out of their mouths…like “so are you done drinking” or “do you think if you didn’t drink so much….” i don’t know why i need to keep saying it…BUT I DID NOTHING WRONG…i do not now nor have ever had an issue with alcohol…cannabis maybe:) but not alcohol…stop projecting your own issues on me…you alcoholics…my trust for others is at an all time low…so please tread lightly around me and try and honor my trauma…so i can heal

my kids and i are trying to put our mother/child relationship back together without this looming “thing” that is always there. they have been so great to me…but it’s been too much for them to bear…so fuck you weasel dick for harming my children too. i finally let my brothers and my mother know.

my mom listened to me tell the story and then i didn’t hear from her again until court two weeks later and all she said was “how was court” ummmm how about how am i????? but our relationship has been severed for years because of things like this…my brothers swung into action like always but there wasn’t a whole lot that they could do as i had already done the PI thing and the OOP thing. but i am glad they know now…it takes some of the pressure off of my kids.

i am not healed yet. i am healing and for those that still take the time to check in and let me loose with my thoughts and my words and my tears i am so grateful for you….i thought my friendships changed when i got diagnosed but this has definitely shown me people’s ignorance and their true colors.

asking for help has always been challenging for me…even after my diagnosis…but now i ask…i reach out and i let people help me…this is harder than any of you can possibly understand.

life is hard and life is messy and it never stops slinging shit your way…take a look at me…i finally got all my shit together literally after years in therapy dealing with my childhood trauma, my diagnosis, and then this little weasel dick comes along and rips my safety, contentedness, and happiness right out from under me.

and he wants me to accept some sort of responsibility…ha! fuck you…you’re the asshole…you’re the rapist…you’re the stupid little fuckhead that can’t have a woman when she’s sober…fuck you.

i’m in control now…i will call the shots…and you will stay the fuck away from me because no matter what i agree to or not…i will call the cops if i ever see your face again…and you should be thanking me for not sending your rapist ass to jail.

we will settle out of court…and i won’t be allowed to share the terms…but i am going to speak to whoever i want…i think that’s the first amendment “freedom of speech” i will not let this little fuckface determine my future…i will get back up…i will make sure the right people are around me and i will move on….

i am tired of writing about this…i am tired of editing emails to lawyers…i was supposed to be taking the summer off after my whirlwind year of fundraising and being honored…yet this asswipe has taken that all away…i am about to take it all back…fuck you weasel dick…that’s your new name now…thanks BG for that:)

thank you for coming to my ted talks
namaste

julie blew
july 27, 2023