i need my life back… thoughts during the pandemic
so you didn’t give a fuck about coming into hot yoga sick and saying i’m going to sweat it out. and i point blank ask you to stay the fuck away from me. because i have a compromised immune system. or sending your kids to school sick. i never did that. going out sick. believe me i’ve been hyper aware of the sick people around me for the last almost 4 years now. and now you’re trying to make me feel bad because in order for me to thrive and fight my illness i need sunshine and exercise. vegetables. people. no stress. and more importantly. to go see my fucking doctors in california.
please stay home. that is your right. keep your loved ones safe. but it is not your right to make me or anyone else that knows how precious life really is feel bad and stop living. i am in danger here too. every time i walk out into the world. i will never stop walking. try and fucking stop me. if you want to stay home and never go out you don’t have to. amazon is freaking amazing. but. don’t you dare ask me to put my life on hold any longer. i don’t have much of a life anyway bc of my chronic bully. i am always safe. see previous blog. i was doing all of these things years ago. i still do them. i don’t feel stupid wearing a mask. get the fuck over yourself.
i’m thrilled everything is being cleaned. and cleaned again. and all the people are kept six feet apart. this is a dream for us. with chronic illness. a fucking dream come true. be smart. be educated. don’t be mean. don’t post the same fucking shit over and over. the doctor that killed herself bc of covid. how in the actual fuck does anyone know that?? because her family said she wasn’t suicidal. ok. i have friends. more than a couple that have lost their children to suicide and i guarantee you they didn’t see it either.
but. yes keep shoving fear down our throats. keep doing that to your kids. and repeating the same fucking things over and over on the internet. oh my fucking g-d. stop!!! try growing. try being truly grateful. try to stay in your lane. this is a horrible pandemic that i hope becomes a distant memory soon. i will be forever grateful that the world finally realized they can’t dump their germs and act like assholes without ramifications.
but. i wonder how many will really even learn from this or grow. i am going to quote myself here. “i don’t want you to wait for the shit to hit the fan before you realize how precious life is, because the shit IS going to hit the fan” so live and love with no regret. we are all going to die. that is inevitable. be kind. be mindful. groundhog day is NOT the end of the world. it has helped me beat 100 percent odds. take care of yours without attacking others. we are all just doing the best we can. there is no one that is unaffected by this. let’s try and move forward. slowly. safely. and with respect for humankind.
last i checked i lived in a free fucking country. and last i checked i’m beating the fuck out of a chronic illness. because i do all the things to keep the germs away and my immune system is strong af. i am not afraid. nothing’s changed for me. except all of you…
peace love cure