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i am a germaphobe

it’s true…i am. never been a big fan of germs to begin with. but, when i got diagnosed with an auto immune disorder my game changed:) the things i do to avoid sick people and germs…well, let’s start with the fact i refuse to enter CVS or Walgreens because most of the people in there are sick, right? why on earth would i enter a place swarming with sick people? if i need anything wellness related i go to Safeway…now i’m sure there are sick people in there too…but, it’s a less concentrated group:) or at least I tell myself that…

when I go to the doctor…if it’s the internist or an ent…an office where there are usually sick people…i will check in…then go wait outside until they are ready for me…if that is not an option…i wear a mask… (i got the cutest little face masks from the girl that does my nails:) i pre board when i fly…i’m allowed i have a chronic debilitating illness…that’s not the only reason…but, yes i guess it is…and the airlines are NOT allowed to ask…i won’t stand in the jetway breathing in all the toxins…and you can all think i’m nuts…but, i fly once a month at least and then let’s talk hot sweaty toxin releasing yoga..i practice hot yoga every single day…i go by the door for several reasons…first and foremost my docs did NOT want me in that hot room…but, since the beginning it has alleviated the chronic nerve pain in my left arm…even if for only 57 minutes:) and it’s really the only thing that does…so we made a deal…they told me if i cool my brain and spine every 10 minutes they would not bother me…i do…either the teachers bring me towels or i dump ice cold water on my head and neck…it also allows fresh cool air to circulate around me…and it has been 13 months since I’ve gotten sick…NEVER in my entire life have I gone more than 6-9 months without getting sick. like never. another battle against this fucker i am winning

there is a method to my madness…and reasons galore. i have a chronic auto immune disorder that leaves me susceptible to so many things…if i get sick, with a cold, or g-d forbid the flu…it is extra dangerous for me. number one my weakened immune system makes it very hard to fight anything off…and then not moving for me sends my ms symptoms into overdrive. twitching. spasms. fatigue. pain. nausea…so, now i’m sick with a cold or the flu…and currently there is no one here to help take care of me…and I’m stuck in bed not moving…my ms symptoms are acting up and I feel like hell:) i am going to stick to being a germaphobe…it’s so much better that way

please don’t ever take it personally if you tell me you’re sick and i turn and run away and i have done that:) i won’t even go near my own children/mostly adults when they are sick…lucky for all of us they have somewhere else to go…i make them stay at their dad’s (they like staying there too…it’s not a punishment…although they both should really be out of the house and supporting themselves by now as they are legal adults;) it’s not you…it’s me…literally…and no…i don’t feel bad about it…i will do anything to stay strong and healthy…

i wanted to take just a moment to explain some of the things that i know may not make sense…and i owe no one any explanations for how i live my life…i do however, want to share the things that are helping me thrive even with this bullshit on my back

ps…i got sick yesterday…the day after I wrote this…however, I still went 13 months:) 
getting into bed now…see you all soon